Pattaya Nightlife News and Reviews

Greetings fellow Pattaya and Thai-Anxiety lovers, before I go on to last night's action, just a post script to my previous report where I left my wingman snuggled up on a couch in Saigon Girl with two cuddly warm ladies. True to form, it wasn't long before he was upstairs with both ladies and enjoying some close encounters of the Soi 6 kind. When posed the question 'what you like?' by one of the girls, he was feeling a little tired and emotional so professed to a preference for a 'hand job' by two ladies together, 'Ah, you wanker' she cried, to which he retorted 'Ah, you slut', but luckily the linguistic misunderstanding was sorted out before an International incident occurred, and 'entente cordial' quickly resumed between England and Thailand. He tells me he had a fabulous time up there kneeling over two ladies pleasuring him both manually and orally, and it wasn't too long before they both received the full benefit of his months of abstinence, luckily for him, he is not responsible for either the laundry bill or the girls shampoo bill at Saigon Girl as I believe the scene was a little messy. Damn, I forgot to ask him whether he made the girls keep their little red hats on!

Isaan Princess

On to last evening's entertainment, we kicked off with another splendid meal at Patrick's Belgian Restaurant opposite the back of Mike's Mall, consistently had good meals there over the years, and last night was no exception, steak in a Roquefort blue cheese sauce, followed by a plate of heavenly profiteroles.

Isaan Princess (kudos to Frank Zappa) I want a nasty little Isaan Princess With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses A horny little Isaan Princess With a garlic aroma that could level Pattaya Lonely inside Well, she can swallow my pride I want a hairless little Isaan Princess With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes I want a steamy little Isaan Princess With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums I don't want no troll I just want a Sisaket hole I want a darling little Isaan Princess Who don't know shit about cooking                          and is arrogant looking A vicious little Isaan Princess To specifically happen with a pussy that's snappin' All up inside I just want a princess to ride I want a funky little isaan Princess A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper A brazen little isaan Princess With silicon tits, and sand-blasted zits She can even be poor So long as she does it with four on the floor I want a dainty little isaan Princess With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters A fragile little Isaan Princess With muscular thighs, who weasels 'n' lies For two or three nights Won't someone send me a princess who bites Won't someone send me a princess who bites Won't someone send me a princess who bites Won't someone send me a princess who bites

I always like to kick off an evenings drinking with a relaxed decent meal somewhere, as I also particularly enjoy people watching, so it was to my absolute pleasure that sitting at the next table was a guy of approximately 55-60 years of age, Swiss or Belgian perhaps, with his consort of the night, who he was obviously trying to impress. To give the guy credit, she was a very sexy looking lady, dressed in skimpy white top and sprayed on jeans, a real Isaan Princess, and undoubtedly a good catch, but he made the mistake of letting her choose a wine from the list, and the little minx immediately went for the most expensive red wine on there, which made him choke on his complimentary prawn crackers, and then when the wine arrived he made a pretentious show of sampling the wine to try and impress, urgh! Actually, that was the second mistake he made, the first was taking her into a decent restaurant in the first place, sorry guys, never take a girl from the bar into a decent eaterie, and conversely never take a 'good girl' into a bar environment, unless she specifically requests you do so, the two types of girls/scenarios are like chalk and cheese, everyone in the restaurant will be able to spot she is an 'entertainment provider' at 100 paces, and she will feel uncomfortable in the place, and would be much happier tucking into a plate of 'som tam' with her mates, so she won't enjoy the meal that you've just spunked a good wedge of cash trying unsuccessfully to impress her with, and she will probably make you stop at a roadside stall on the way home to get some 'proper' food. Rant over.

'it livens up later'

Anyway, checked bin before I could be further amused by the aging lotharios tactics, and because this was a sort of Coyote hunting night (Meep! ,Meep!) we sloped up the Arcade and into Papagayos . This was a successful Coyote Bar style bar from it's inception a couple of years ago, and last time I was in there, at it's height of success, it was packed to the gills with attractive hostesses, but last night it was looking fairly forlorn. The concept has been copied and improved upon by several Coyote style joints, and Papagayos has been left behind somewhat, perhaps due to its location? Besides us, there were only three other customers in the place, plus a couple of whom I assume were the owners, slumped over the till watching their investment slowly disappearing in front of their very eyes. All told there were about 15 girls dotted around the bar, inclusive of three girls shuffling around on three corner podiums, but they looked pretty bored with life, on the bright side, the beer was reasonably priced at 80 baht a bottle, and a couple of the girls were quite attractive, and I am sure the owners would say that 'it livens up later', as they always do, but to me it looks like a bar that is slowly dying.

Fester's Flaccid Member

Then we took a slight detour in to Soi LK Metro and entered into Champagne A Go-Go , as I wanted to point out both Lolita's and Hell Club to my drinking partner. I have written about Champagne before, but it was a couple of years ago so I was interested to see what changes had been made. When we walked in I glanced down to the bottom left, and there was what appeared to be a very large LCD screen showing a sort of British soft porn movie involving an Uncle Festus lookalike cavorting naked in a bathtub with two naked Thai girls and a sex toy fashioned out of pipe lagging, it was only when I got closer I realized that it was actually a live spontaneous show. The reason I had assumed it was British soft porn was the fact that no matter how hard the girls were trying to instill some life into Festers flaccid member, it was to no avail, perhaps he needed 'Thing' to give him another helping hand? Actually, I do have some sympathy with the guy, sympathy which he later lost incidentally, as public sex is not for everyone, I still have nightmares about being invited to a stag party in Bournemouth when I was still just 'materialsboy' and being the chosen victim of two strippers who got me into the middle of the room, disrobed me, played around with me, and then ran off as all the lights came on leaving me alone and naked and limp in front of a circle of twenty or so of my best, but now cackling and sneering mates, not a pleasant experience! So we settled in to watch the action on stage, but also with a morbid and perverse curiosity to view what was happening in the shower behind us.

After we had ordered a couple of Heinekens I noticed an LED display saying 'buy one get one free on bottled beers between 8-9 p.m.', sadly we were in there at 9:30, no big deal as I am not a Cheap Charlie, but I thought I should mention it as it is a pretty good deal. As for the girls on stage, a pretty mixed bunch of perhaps twenty five girls ranging from naked to bikini clad, youngish to fairly grizzled old pros, a lot of the girls seemed bizarrely to be wearing a single stocking, what's that all about? Perhaps Heather Mills McCartney was having a garage sale of her lingerie collection before she moved out of Paul's place?? In keeping with the Addams family theme, one of the mamasans, quite a big strong lady, appeared to be a cross between Morticia and Grandmama Addams, quite scary! Whilst the other mamasan was really quite a pleasant looking lady, nice body if I may say so, looked damn good in tight jeans. Whilst enjoying my second beer in there, I can report that luckily the two girls in the shower had finally tired of trying to inspire Uncle Festus into more salacious activities, and they had all returned thankfully fully dressed to the main auditorium, unfortunately Uncle Festus had retained the piece of wet pipe lagging and proceeded to act out his BDSM fantasies by incessantly whipping any naked flesh that come into his view, I know that these toys do not hurt anyway near as much as it sounds like when making good contact with flesh, but the constant repetitive sound of him administering a damn good thrashing to the ladies whilst standing directly next to me hastened our exit, before I was obliged to tale the bloody thing off of him and stuff it right where the sun doesn't shine! On second thoughts, it was a good job I didn't do so, he probably would have enjoyed it! I must also make a mention of one other guy in there, sadly in a wheelchair with a disability, think of Steven Hawkins, yet he was having an absolute whale of a time, swigging beer and Tequilas, he had one of the best looking girls in there keeping him company, plus the mamasans were taking good care of him, and he had a huge grin on his face, good luck to you mate, after all, isn't it moments like that that make Pattaya such a special place for us all?

A Cold Fate

Onwards round Soi L.K. Metro, passing by Lolita's Lollipop Sucking Emporium, we came across another Coyote Bar, named ICE , sadly, there were 4 bored almost comatose dancers in the window, but no customers that we could see, so despite this being a Coyote hunt we decided to give this place a miss too. When is a Coyote not a Coyote? I guess when it's a sheep dressed up in wolves clothing, by which I mean that the act of simply dressing some plain looking girl up in a pair of sexy shorts and a cropped top and sticking her up on a podium does not automatically make her a Coyote! I know that Coyote Bars are trendy right now, and I believe that similar bars will one day be the Pattaya norm and replace the beer bars, an outdated concept that frankly I feel has had it's day, but you are not going to make money by simply copying another guys ideas and sitting back waiting for the punters and their money to come rolling in. ICE is situated where the old Gorkles A Go-Go was, which was also pretty much a doomed enterprise, and sadly I feel ICE will shortly be going the same way. Perhaps High Season will come along just in time and save it from a fate worse than death, but I am not holding my breath.

A Warm Sort of Blue

Walking ever onwards through LK Metro, pointing out Club Hell and all the 'ins and outs' involved in that place's entertainment to my buddy, we moved on to the highlight, and main reason for my night out, the Club Blu Coyote Bar on the corner of LK Metro and Soi Boukhao. I know this bar has been open for quite a few months now and has been well received by the public, so well received in fact that allegedly the original owners sold out recently for an astronomical figure of baht, but this was my first opportunity to visit the bar. First impressions? Very impressive actually, the décor works very well, the blue light in principle would appear quite harsh, but in fact it's a warm sort of blue light that really enhances the place. I think that if I was a wealthy in the Hugh Heffner style, I would definitely have one of the rooms in my mansion modeled after this club, and constantly stocked with pretty girls! I wasn't too sure about the spiral steel staircase by the door mind, seemed a little rickety for my liking, I suppose that the 'resting rooms' are up there, as opposed to the 'rest rooms' which are downstairs on floor level, but I wouldn't fancy traversing those stairs if I was a little bit worse for wear, or physically drained after 'resting'.

As for the quality of the women, well of course that is always a purely personal viewpoint, one man's stunner is another mans woofer, there were around 25 'ladeez' present, and I would say that there were a few 9's amongst them, mostly 7's or 8's though, I heard that when it first opened the line up was far more impressive, but as in any similar business in Pattaya, it's hard to keep your best girls for any long period due to sponsorship, marriage, better offers from other bars etc. Miss 'M' was quite a package mind you; I enjoyed her little turn on the podium just inches away from me. I equally enjoyed my time in the bar immensely, the drinks were very reasonable at 70 baht a bottle, the atmosphere was friendly, the clientele were well turned out and smart, and the Tequila Shot girl was to die for, those black 4” stiletto heeled boots coupled with the Stetson hat and skimpy denim shorts, think Daisy Duke and you would be close, was my abiding memory of the place, and she well deserved my first and only 100 baht tip of the night, I shall be back! If I had to make a comparison to the Honey Pot which I thoroughly enjoyed last week, I would say that if you combined the two places, with the décor of Club Blu and the current line up of the Honey Pot, you would have a license to print money, which in actual fact was pretty much what Club Blu was earlier this year. Only bad thing last night, was a 'bunny boiler' that made an unscheduled appearance in the bar causing a little bit of a scene with some guy that obviously she considered to be 'her property', tears and accusations were flowing, and that was just him! Anyway, it was soon sorted out without too much drama, but I made a mental note that I would remember her face and give her a wide berth in the future.

Liquidity Crisis

Just before I wrap up this portion, I must mention that we looked out of the window directly onto Liquid Lounge , previously The Stereo Music Lounge, which purports to be another Coyote style place, but frankly it is in an entirely lower league to Club Blu, please refer to my comments on ICE above, I don't see that as a long term prospect either, and I know that the new owner of Club Blu was involved in The Stereo Music Lounge previously, I hope he sold out altogether, never thought I would miss those multicoloured plastic discs on the wall, but I do!

Water Works

Well, again time was marching on, and 'materialsman' has to earn a crust doing a proper job, so off we reluctantly went to the last port of call for the evening, Club Oasis A Go-Go in Soi Boukhao. Another first time visitation for me, I have been pretty low profile for a couple of years, and another reason for selecting here was that the large steak and profiteroles were weighing heavily on my err, mind, and as beautifully appointed as the Gentlemen's toilets in Club Blu were, I saw only urinals in there, so plan B was called for. Again I have heard good reports of this place, but either my own taste in girls is extremely restrictive, or we just picked a bad night, for with one or two exceptions it resembled a bit of an elephant's graveyard of a Go-Go, plenty of dancers in the bar, but not to my 'spec', it resembled a home to the girls that were perhaps a little bit worn at the edges to put it nicely, but each to their own, and things can change on a daily basis, if not an hourly basis in the bars of Sin City.

Coyote phenomenon?

So, what's my take on the whole Coyote phenomenon? Well, I think it will be around for a while, and when done well, as in the case of Club Blu and The Honey Pot , it is a welcome addition to the Pattaya night life scene, it gives a different dimension to the other types of entertainment available, and that is what makes this town such a great place to live in, variety is the spice of life after all.

Until next time.

materialsman

Saigon Girl is a short time bar located at the 2nd Road end of Soi 6.

Saigon Girl is owned by Terry and Nung previously of T.G. bar. He and his wife are great hosts and make all patrons welcome. He is also a keen biker who will always talk about his passion. I have known Terry for several years and he is a constant information source on what is happening in pattaya.

The Night Out Beer Bar Complex has closed on the eastern soi connecting Soi 7 with Pattaya Klang (Central Road).  It has been pretty empty for a while.

The 2nd Road Beer Bar Complex opposite Mike's Mall has seen a few bars shut up shop. Said to be due to a recent rent increase.

The Oliver Twist, then Bennigan's restaurant on Pattaya Klang near the beach has now become Bosco's. Another Irish themed pub

The recent sale of Club Blu was to the owner who had Stereo Bar on the opposite corner.

Ocean 10 disco on Walking Street has been closed for a few days for yet another refit. It will re-open for Halloween.

Down in Jomtien, Waow's pub on Thappraya Road has recently enclosed itself. Not so sure about the aircon though, fans were well needed.

Illusion Pattaya Club is located in the old Top Girls venue at the junction of Soi 14 & Soi 15 just off Walking Street. It now has entrances on both sois.

One suspects that the opening configuration will be pretty short lived s it seems to fall short any many fronts. However there is no reason why things shouldn't improve.

The large bar is more reminiscent of a nightclub than a gogo bar. It is kitted out in extreme white and the seating is predominantly large white mattress affairs. They look good, but in reality there is no back support and they get very uncomfortable after a short while.

The music is also predictably club style. The DJ picks some pretty long dance tunes too. Lots of pretty lights to match.

On the downside the seating is simply too far from the two stages. There were 5 girls dancing leaving just two to circulate amongst the customers.

They were wearing bikini bottoms and tops that fall open to reveal all...well nearly all, the girls were wearing star shaped pasties. It is a silly trick as it smacks of censorship and I therefore find it annoying.

There were two amongst the 7 girls that would get you calling them over, but in reality, the lack of hostessing time, (2 long tracks compared with 5 long tracks dancing) made any thought personal entertainment impractical. And as if to stress the point, the girls were vainly hassling for lady drinks whilst dancing.

It always seems a mistake to open without adequate dancers, all the bar reviewers come round in the first few days when the bar is struggling and report how naff it is.

Opening drinks prices are very reasonable though...surely helps.

But I'll be listening out for comments on the forum for when the bar builds up a few more girls. The bar does seem to have potential. It could be that they ay change format to something more like a nightclub. It does seem a strange layout for a gogo, especially as it is lacking all the play stage and Jacuzzi features that seem to draw in the customers these days.

There are now 76 Pattaya bars with girls dancing in bikinis or less.

We started off the evening by having a reasonable meal at one of North Pattaya's hidden and forgotten gems, The Hippo Restaurant on Soi 2, the fine eaterie attached to the Welkom Inn, or 'Belgian Embassy' as it is also known, while we decided on a plan of action. Incidentally, I have noticed that due to the economic meltdown and rising prices, many restaurants have, instead of raising prices, reduced the size of the portion, maybe just me, but I would prefer to have the bigger portions back and pay a little extra! Rant over.

After dining we were a still little early for full on action, so we took a walk around the block and came back up Soi 3, jeez! Where did all those new Beer Bars next to the Welkom Inn spring up from! Anyway, despite their best efforts to drag these two 'hansum men' into their pink dimly lit lairs, we fended them off successfully as our first drinking destination was to be The Atlantic Bar on Second Road/Soi 3.

Now, I haven't been to The Atlantic Bar for a couple or three years, since it's supposed heyday, but I keep in touch with what's happening on various Forums, including Thai-Anxiety, and consensus has been that the Atlantic is in decline, and that the few remaining lookers there believe they have 'pussies spun of the finest and purest gold thread' and hardly give a punter the time of day. Well, I have to say on entering the bar, I was pleasantly surprised! There were probably 25 girls in attendance, and this was around 21:30, before the 'superstars' can be assed to turn up for duty, and there were some very attractive ladies on view, all resplendent in clingy white dresses, or other very tight white clothing. I am not sure if they have a different colour scheme for each night of the week, I will have to go back and check, but the overall effect on Tuesday was quite dazzling! We positioned ourselves in seats between the pool tables and the bar to get a good panoramic view of the lovelies and ordered a couple of bottled Heinekens, which came at a reasonable 70 baht a bottle considering the eye candy, we had a drink in Anna Jet in Soi 7 last week and they charged like a 'wounded rhinoceros' for the same libations, with nothing anywhere near as good to look at pulchritude wise. Perhaps true to form we weren't hassled by the beauties, but I am the sort of guy that is happy to buy lady drinks for any lady I choose to buy for, but don't enjoy being pressurised into doing so by unwelcome attention. We stayed for a couple more and enjoyed the view, so overall I felt it was still a good place to sit and drink, and feel for sure if you were a regular enough guy and took a little time to get the know the stunners, there would be no problem in negotiating 'extra curricular' activities with the hostesses. Good service, reasonable prices, and beautiful ladies, what more could a man ask for?

I felt we had to move on, otherwise we would have whiled away too much time 'perving' there, and made the first big mistake of the evening by shuffling along the same complex and taking a seat at The Cherry Bar'. Now, when I approach a bar, my eyesight is not what it was, *note to Mother, you were right; it did make me go blind!

Consequently I will always take a seat and order a beer no matter what, rather than turn tail and flee if the bar is full of dragons, first impressions can be deceiving, and there could be hidden gems just out of line of sight. However, on this occasion first impressions were 100% correct, and the bar was staffed with some pretty ordinary girls. Now, the reason for picking The Cherry Bar was that it was owned by one of my all time favourite ex-TQ1 dancers, Khun Tom and her equally lovely sister, and used to be staffed by a fairly attractive young crowd of girls, sadly no longer! I don't know if they sold out the bar or not, but I realised my error of choice, drank my bottle as fast as I could, and check binned even though it was my mates turn to pay, never looked or cared about the prices, just wanted away in a hurry!

Well, time was moving on apace, so it was time for a trip down memory lane and The Classroom 2 A Go-Go in Soi 2 where I have had many a happy time over the years. Walked in to a fairly quiet establishment, but the line up was pretty reasonable, and a lithe lovely soaping herself in a Jacuzzi type bath. Actually, I wondered to myself after watching her soap herself squeaky clean for over an hour, 'If I paid the bar for her, would she come back to 'my loom' and insist on another shower, if so, why?'

Well, we enjoyed the schoolgirl clad dancers, when suddenly the music changed and the good lookers ran off stage and the 'showgirls' appeared. When did Classroom2 become a 'bells and whistles' pussy show bar? So, we sat through a couple of shows, including 'pussy smoke cigarette' show, which took me by surprise as I thought smoking was banned in air conditioned bars? Smoking was definitely bad for this particular girl's health, as she appeared to be smoking two or three at a time! Thankfully, this show wasn't too long, as whatever hidden talents this girl obviously has, being slim and a looker wasn't amongst them. The bar had started to fill up by then, a party of bemused looking Asians, and a gang of loud Aussie back-backers had come in off the street, but that was the pattern of events, a couple of songs for the dancing girls, then show time again. To my eternal shame, one of the mamasans identified me as being an old time Pattaya monger, and roped me in for a bit of audience participation due to lack of interest from the other attendees, so yours truly got pushed up on stage for both the 'pussy shoots darts at balloon' show, and the 'pussy fires bananas' show, which culminated in the last banana being fired out after I had retaken my seat and wasn't ready for it leaving me with a couple of nasty looking white sticky stains to both my shirt and trousers, much to the amusement of my drinking buddy. Drinks I think were a strangely priced 106 baht a bottle, which I guess is okay considering the show, but a little pressure for 'tips' was prevalent after each extravaganza, though I tried to protest that I should actually receive my share of the tips for my 'performance', but to no avail. I don't begrudge the poor girl her tips, she probably doesn't get much in the way of bar fines. So off we went out of the door, and the girl in the Jacuzzi was still soaping herself up, trying to find and cleanse body orifices she had previously missed. Overall the place was okay, but I preferred the old style of purely dancing girls, don't need to see the pussy shows as I am a jaded ex-pat, but it may suit some.

Next, on to the highlight of the evening, which luckily is right next door to Classroom 2 and under the same management, The Honeypot Club and Coyote Bar. Now, this was my very first visit to this establishment, and I don't want to get into a debate about the old Coyote vs Go-Go Girls thing, I know the Pattaya A Go-Go purists don't like them, indeed 'mein host' at Thai-Anxiety is not a lover of the Coyote style, but I have to say I was very, very impressed with the line up of beauty here, all resplendent in skimpy white attire, which confirmed my suspicions from The Atlantic Bar that 'White is indeed this years Black' and in particular number #92, which gave me an 'Apocalypse Now' moment, you know the lines,"Sell the house. Sell the car. Sell the kids. Find someone else. Forget it. I'm never coming back. Forget it." What an absolute darling! Wearing a miniscule pair of white shorts, a cropped white top with a black bra showing through revealing a fair old cleavage, long curly hair and the face of an Angel! I was in love big time, but I had to think, is it the skimpy clothing that makes her stand out? Would I have been so smitten had she been wearing a bikini, or even naked? This is where we came in, regards the Coyote look, personally I like it, it makes a change of pace and the skimpy clothing adds a little mystery for me, even though there isn't much of it. I have been in Secrets a couple of times, one of the original Coyote dancing establishments along with the Casino Club, and as much as I enjoy contributing to their Forum, I find the place awfully 'cliquey' and not over friendly to those punters not in the 'gang', but I have to say The Honeypot made us feel very welcome, giving us two of the best seats right near the window and right near the dancing podium, I felt like a kid in a candy store! And what of my delectable number #92 Goddess? Well, of course she never gave me the time of day, but I handle rejection well, and will be back to try another day.

That's another viewpoint of the whole Coyote/Superstar phenomenon, people say the girls have a 'my shit don't stink' attitude towards the punters, way too busy counting their 'sponsors' money every month to actually bother putting themselves out and actually go off with a guy, well, I say good luck to them, the life of a dancer is short and full of dangerous pit holes, so let them make hay (baht) while the sun shines (while they have their looks). I will be back to take another look at the place, and especially number #92, I do so enjoy a challenge!

Overall, this place rocks! Well not exactly 'Rocks', as they have the unusual concept for this kind of bar, of having a live band playing sort of cod-rock, easy listing type stuff, I kept expecting Hotel California any moment, but bizarrely it seems to work fine, all the girls seem happy enough, the staff were friendly, (except #92, probably just shy!) and drinks reasonable. I am going to take another look next week at the comparable Club Blu in Soi Boukhao before I judge the whole Coyote thing, but for now I think it's a winning concept, but my judgment could be clouded by my schoolboy crush!. The only reason we left was that on the next table, a large American chap fired up an equally large stogie, which put a damper on my enjoyment, so much for the supposed ban on smoking inside air conditioned venues, like all Pattaya 'crackdowns' it has quickly turned to dust, (Or at least ash!)

The night for me was coming to a close, I had a warm fuzzy feeling due to both the alcohol and the memory of very attractive girls I had laid eyes on that night, but before 'stumps up' decided that one more beer wouldn't go amiss, so we stumbled off to the Saigon Girl bar in Soi 6. I have a hazy recollection of being in this bar last Thursday, and remember being captivated by the red uniforms and little red hats all the girls were wearing, and so it was! The bar has a sort of confused Saigon theme, posters of The Deer Hunter, and a mural of the poster of the sunset from Apocalypse Now on one wall, as well as many posters of various big hairy motorcycles, perhaps the owner is some sort of grizzled Harley Davidson riding Vietnam Vet? The girls are not the prettiest in the Soi, but they make up for that with their rare enthusiasm for their work, and the uniform works for me, you probably think I am some kind of uniform obsessed pervert right? Probably 100% spot on! So, two drinks later, and a couple of lady drinks nestled in the bins, it was time for me to mosey on home, but as I stand up and take one last look around before diving through the curtain, I see my drinking buddy on a sofa with two cuddly girls, one either side of him, massaging his privates for all they are worth, dressed in those pretty red uniforms, and still wearing the hats, a lovely memory, a Kodak moment indeed, ain't life in Pattaya grand!

Utopia A-GoGo is the upstairs bar above Utopia Lounge on the corner od Soho Square and Walking Street.

Utopia A-GoGo have just re-opened after a refit. And it is about the best new refurbishment I have seen for a long time.

A few comments have been flying around the Pattaya forums about the recent temporary lack of pretty girls at Windmill Club. Well if you are wondering where some of the pretty girls have gone, then try Utopia. In the meantime Windmill have already recruited more than suitable replacements.

There is not a fattie or oldie amongst the line up. They have been very selective indeed. The salary bill must be enormous. But even better the Windmill connection means that they are up for some hands on fun.

In terms of entertainment, the bar has got it all. They have stages, large and small, a Jacuzzi and a play stage.

The drinks prices are on the higher side but not totally unreasonable. There is not a draft beer at the moment but they are expecting to add one at 80 Baht.

Anyway well worth a look, the most improved gogo in Pattaya...but can it last?

Love Club is a short time bar in the middle of Soi 6.

The large bar seems to be suffering on the design front. The attempt to go open front was rapidly aborted and the current configuration seems ill suited to Soi 6.

There are some good quality sofas available, but these are arranged in a group affair like in the Friends coffee shop. Fine for a group, but not for the majority of the singleton Soi 6 customers. The first customer tends to claim the entire suite. Any other customers, out of deference to privacy, choose to sit at the bar.

The barstools are good though with leather and backs. But somehow stools never really allows for good interactive short time interviews with the girls.

There's also a low stage with 2 or 3 poles for dancing. But outside of parties, or spontaneity from the girls, it is not regularly used.

Still the bar currently has some good looking ladies, so I am sure they can still do well. After all, that's what really counts.

I have forgotten how much the drinks cost, but it was within the normal range.

I don't agree with your reviews about Happy Bar!

I have been there several times sins February 2008 and only have good things to say about the staff in that place.

And what difference can there be if Thai or Farang owned. Beats me anyway!

I hope more people start to see the wider picture and not just an impression after one visit. It is a good place with nice staff!

Kiss Kool is a short time bar on Soi 6 that features bikini clad gogo dancers.

Kiss Kool seems to have scaled down since my last visit. And in the jargon of my trade, it hasn't scaled down well.

There were just half a dozen girls waiting outside, a couple of dancers and one other girl drinking with a customer. The lack of momentum means that there are no customers being entertained by the dancers. Selecting a girl at the door tends to ensure an intense short time interview, which makes the dancing superfluous.

And it got worse. My girl said: I go dance, She said 5 minutes, but it was interminable. The bar was by this time totally empty apart from me and my girl. And she was bikini clad dancing in an inane unsexy shuffle to dance music that was of no interest whatsoever.

Really a dreadful way to entertain the only customer...who predictably didn't stay long.

...oh, and there was no draft beer either, so not a particularly cheap way to get bored silly.

Rocket Club is upstairs on Soi Diamond accessed from a doorway next to Paris A-GoGo.

I found a new place for me, Rocket GoGo.

Seated beside the jacuzzi I found two pretty girls and I could play with them too. Very friendly and the service staff were nice to me - an old man from Europe.

Draft bear 40 bath before 22:00 and 55 after.

The bar is pitched at Asian tourists in that there are no drinks prices advertised by the welcome staff who are also there to charge unsuspecting visitors an entrance charge. As always the bar is free to farangs.

But the strange thing is that it is a perfectly good bar for farang customers too. There is a cheap draft beer at 55 Baht albeit in a small glass. The lady drinks are also in line with other bars at 110 Baht.

There are some pretty dancing girls and they are happy to pop over for a chat. No undue hassle and I had a perfectly pleasant stay.

There is a bells and whistles show but it is at least simultaneous with a pretty girl soaping herself in a Jacuzzi. The shows alternate with dancing and the girls just dance 2 songs. No sooner did my drinking partners say I go dance, and she was back by my side.

Probably mostly down to my pretty hostess, but I well enjoyed my visit.

Shooters on Soi Diamond will be closed from Tuesday 21st October onwards. A new group of Investors, under the helm of our current manager Russ, will develop the place into something new. More on this in the next few days!

Sunny Valentine will keep a minor share in the new busines but will most likely keep a lower profile in the new venture.

In the mean time, Shooters will have a final Party this Monday 20th.

A team from the Child and Women's Protection Unit, a division of the Thai Police raided the X-Ray Men's Club located in North Pattaya.

Police checked the age of employees and found them all to be over 18, however 4 were arrested because they were not carrying their Thai ID cards which is a fineable offence.

The license for the establishment was checked and was found to have expired and the Duty Manager was duly arrested.

A report of the incident has now been sent to the District Licensing Unit at Banglamung City Hall for their consideration.

Shark A-GoGo is upstairs on Soi Diamond accessed via stairs off Walking Street

Shark A-GoGo is now taking a bigger chunk out of customers pockets with a hike in draft beer price of 23% from 65 to 80 Baht. Judging by the amount of customers, the bar is in desperate need of the extra 30 Baht raised from all customers present during my visit.

Presumably the price increase also applies to Shark Club and Tiger Lounge.

There's really not much going on in this bar to try and combat the low season blues. The table dancing is bog standard as are the girls. There's no sign of customer interaction and there's no play stages or Jacuzzis etc.

Strange that the same owners do fine with the hands on fun in Shark Club next door but have never really managed to inject the same enthusiasm into Shark A-GoGo.

Pinky Girl A-GoGo is located on Walking Street opposite Soi 15.

The bar is very much targeting the Asian tour parties, who for some unfathomable reason, appreciate the bells & whistles shows. There was also a party of young Thai couples watching too.

The bells & whistles show was very much a one woman affair with the star being well beyond the retirement age for dancers. All the usual acts were trotted out.

The staff and dancers have been 'trained' to try and affirm the quality of the entertainment. Several times service girls walking past prompted me: Good show, Yes? Of course I replied: No, not really. But I don't think they were 'trained' to listen for a response.

After the show had come to a temporary pause, 4 dancers took to the stage. Again the service staff were 'trained' in patter: beautiful girls, yes.

And of course my predictable response was: No, not really.

Saying that, there were a couple of girls who probably got a few bar fines. One of them sat, bikini clad, in a Jacuzzi soaping herself. But nobody seemed to be taking much notice.

The draft beer was reasonably priced and the service was good. But I don't suppose many farangs will be persuaded by the merits of the bar.

Bubbles A-GoGo is set to re-open later this month in Soi Pattayaland 2.

Bubbles was the original name of a girls gogo which changed to Crystal and then closed in 2007. It then become Crystal Boys.

In perhaps a rare fightback against the boy bars, the bar will definitely be a girls bar.

Pattaya Ghost reports that it is a venture by the connections of the nearby Rodeo Girls A-GoGo but the building is stilled owned by the original team who ran All Girls, Crystal, Wild West Girls and Planet Rock.

I remember first occasionally visiting Pattaya 8 years ago and the above bars were all popular. By the time I was a regular to Pattaya 5 years ago, the bars had become dire with ludicrous prices such as 150 Baht lady drinks. This pushed out the regulars and the best girls. Surely no one shed a tear when the bars finally faded away a couple of years ago.

Perhaps some Pattaya old timers will fondly remember the Bubbles of old, but If it were my choice, I would go for a totally fresh start. Bubbles/Crystal was really bad in its declining years.

Soi 6 can now re-open again in the afternoons from 1pm.

In a very sensible sounding compromise, the Soi 6 bar owners will self police and ensure that some of the troublesome aspects of the soi will be reduced.

In particular girls and ladyboys will not be allowed to harass people as they walk down the street and certainly not be allowed to grab them.

A dress code has been introduced, but a ban on strapless dresses seems unlikely to cause any inconvenience.

The bars are still limited to 2 girls out front until 6pm. I'm not really sure how the selection of girls can work without them all being out front, so I suspect that this restriction will prove impractical and wont last.

Bars that don't comply to the agreed code will be liable 2 a 60 day closure. Bar owners have been asked to report any bar that breaks the code so as to avoid any further police actions against the whole soi.

Hopefully removing the hassle may even make Soi 6 more attractive to customers.

Carousel GoGo Club is a long established GoGo on Soi Diamond that has traditionally specialised in sexy shows.

The bar does not seem to have progressed in the long time since my last visit.

It is never a good start to a visit to be shown to the uncomfortable stools because the dancers are occupying all the available bench seating.

This doesn't improve much when my drinks order is taken by male service staff.

Hardly a bargain draft beer either at 75 Baht for a small glass.

The girls are organised into 3 dancing shift. 2 sets of gogo dancers and a team of about 4 pretty girls that do the show. The show is sexy, but nothing that puts the bar above the competition. The gogo dancing is also pretty standard topless fare.

I didn't spot any of the girls circulating amongst the customers when waiting to dance. This was leaving a rather listless atmosphere amongst the few lonely looking customers.

Seems about time to get a Jacuzzi installed and to employ a few lively lap dancers.

Hot Legs Sports Bar has just opened this week.

The large aircon bar is located inside the Jomtien Complex on the corner of the gay soi nearest the beach and the longest internal soi. It was previously a Hungarian restaurant.

The bar is one of the new architectural school of 100% windows and no privacy. It is not lit quite so severely as the new Pattaya style bars that try to make the people inside into a spectacle for the people outside.

The bar is very nicely fitted out with different styles of seating, all of which are good quality.

Unfortunately the bar seemed to be quite popular and the bar was down to 2 average girls outside trying to attract passers by. Despite a smile, neither of them accompanied me in. As I sat at the bar, I looked around and couldn't spot any free girls inside, so rather than drink alone, I did a quick U-turn.

Given that there were quite a few customers inside, there seems no reason why the bar shouldn't attract a few more girls. So I'll give it a couple of weeks and try again.

The rapidly progressing work on the old Top Girls on Soi 14 & Soi 15 now proclaims that it will be Illusion Pattaya Club. The rumours suggest that this will be a coyote dancing bar.

The closure of Top Girls has seen a clean sweep of closures of all the main Asian tour party bells and whistles shows that were operating last year. ie Top Girls, Tramps and Fantasia. Perhaps these are not so popular with the coach parties after all.

The replacement Bells and Whistles shows are smaller affairs that mix these shows with more mainstream gogo entertainment, ie Byblos and the Nui's bars Playgirls, Pinky Girl & Hot Girls.

For the moment there are 75 bars with girls dancing in bikinis or less

It seems that the overly 'in yer face' fun on Soi 6 is at least partially to blame for the latest crack down and hence toning it down is the way towards reconciliation.

By way of a sensible sounding compromise, bars will open at 4pm with just a couple of (respectably dressed ladies outside). Most importantly they should not hassle the passers by, and definitely not grab them by the balls.

And hasslesome lady boys are definitely banned.

If the bars respect the underlying requirements it could even end up making Soi 6 better than before.

Today saw police patrols keeping Soi 6 pretty well closed until 6pm. A few bars had previously done a bit of low key opening, but in general the soi is not what it was in the afternoons

There's no sign of a let up, and not much sign yet of the suggested extension to all of Pattaya.

Pattaya commentators seem to be gravitating to the theory that Soi 6 has got a bit too obvious and hasslesome and that it should learn to be a bit more discrete during daylight hours. (See Pattaya Ghost for a good write up)

However there is a big meeting for bar owners on Saturday afternoon and maybe this will shed some light on whether afternoons are going to become dry for the rest of Pattaya.

The old Goldfingers A-GoGo on Soi 7 has been gutted and seems to be re-developing into another beer bar.

Building work has also been taking place in the rather too narrow Angel A-GoGo near the Walking Street tree.

There is a new development next to What''s Up on Soi 15. It is reported that banners proclaim Club Illusion.

The builders are also in at Top Girls or maybe the Club above on Soi 14.

The police closed Soi 6 this afternoon citing a new requirement for bars to adhere to licensing hours of 6pm until 2am.

The speculation is that it is the Pattaya mayor's response to  Belgian TV programme showing Pattaya as a sleazy sex based town where a third of the population are on the game.

No doubt quiet afternoons will soon put an end to the bad reputation an get the good wholesome tourists flooding into town.

But it will surely take a massive toll on Pattaya's economy in the meantime and one therefore suspects that prohibition simply can't last.

Update: Tourists Go Home

8th October 2008

Soi 6 still on afternoon closing but worth popping your head around the door to see if anything is going down inside.

There was a city meeting today when more details about bar opening were revealed

The prohibition on opening bars will be enforced citywide and bars will only be allowed to open between 6pm and 2am.

The mayor and police have some very strict penalties in mind with 90 day closures, 30,000 Baht fines and even 2 month expulsions from Thailand for farang owners.

Sounds grim news indeed but as always it will hurt the economy and will surely soon generate real pressure to ease off.

Lolita's is a blow job located on Soi LK Metro (off Soi Buakhao and Soi Diana)

The bar has recently been remodelled. I must say that the changes have given the bar a great look. There is more room to move around, they have a TV for sports now.

The Pattaya Ghost confirms that Popcorn A-GoGo on Soi Pattayaland is closed and up for sale. They at least commiserated with a closing down party last night.

Meanwhile up on Soi 6, Betty Boup Dance Club has just celebrated its 2 year anniversary. And by all accounts they are still doing well. The bar is teeming with girls at the moment.

A bit further up the Soi, the old upstairs Pook A-GoGo has burst into the open after the windows/walls were knocked out. The new incarnation is now open but one assumes that it features lady boys. I'll leave it to someone else to confirm.

Peaches has opened as an aircon bar on Walking Street and there is a good write up on the Pattaya Ghost page mentioned earlier. It at least seems to be a girls bar but the low pay rates don't immediately look like attracting the peaches of Walking Street.

New Living Dolls One has implemented a bed tax but prices are still amongst the best in town. Shane writes:

The tub is gone for now, it was under 2 aircons and as such the girls were always getting sick.

We have replaced it with a big red BED, yes we still have the mirror in front of it. The girls have been taking there turn at bed time play with odd guy wanting to join in .

Yes our bar fines did go up from 400 to 450 and from 200 to 250 we also had to increase our happy hour from 39 bt to 49 bt. Guys sorry for doing this but after 3 wholesale increases which we did not pass on it finally had to happen.

A new GoGo has opened on Soi 13/1 (Soi Yamato) near to 2nd Road. The venue was previously 77 Club.

The bar opened with very much the feel that it will blend in with its near neighbours, Far East Rock, Club Nevada, Spicy Girls and Hot & Cold. It is similarly sized too.

It will open in the afternoon and offers reasonable rates for in house short times.

The drinks seem to be set slightly higher than the opposition with a 75 Baht draft. Lady drinks were 100 Baht

There were plenty of girls on hand for the opening night, although a little questioning suggests that some were employed just for a day or two. The girls were very much a mixed bunch with a few that were presentable.

The dress code is bikini but only 3 or 4 were dancing at anyone time. Surely a good idea giving more time for smooching rather than dancing. There are no novelties such as Jacuzzis or show girls so the bar will just have to rely on the girls providing good old fashioned hands on entertainment.

I enjoyed my stay but will have to stop by again to make a more realistic appraisal of its offerings. Everyone was eager to please on opening night.

Meanwhile Popcorn A-GoGo on Soi Pattayaland 2 was dark and Far East Rock now closes early at 7pm.

So there are now 76 bars around Pattaya where girls dance in bikinis or less.

Happy A-GoGo is a long established GoGo in central Walking Street.

Nothing much had changed since my last visit. In fact nothing had changed since my last visit. The bar is simply supremely consistent.

Still pretty girls on the popular main stage and naked girls around on the side stage which isn't so popular.

Most guys seem to come to look rather than interact with the girls much.

The shows are simple with just a little added enthusiasm to the dancing and a few less clothes.

The beer is reasonably priced but it is not given away as the glasses are small.

On the whole I find the lack of interaction makes the bar pretty sterile but that is personal taste rather than a criticism of the bar. Many would say how pleasant it is to be able to sit ad watch without being hassled.